Today my puppy ate an entire pumpkin pie. Well, it was missing one slice because my son had it for dessert last night after he ate pizza at his union meeting and lasagna when he came home. My son is a metabolic nightmare. At six foot one and roughly 165 pounds, he is a long lean monster that consumes food constantly. When he was about nine, he wrote a note on a post-it. It said “eat food”. I found it in a random spot in the kitchen one morning, and it amused me mightily. I counted it as a bit of our homeschooling, because his penmanship was moderately excellent for a nine year old boy, and it was roughly scientific. Also it amused me. So I stuck it on the front of the refrigerator. And it stayed there until our house burned down. It is somewhat of a catchphrase of his, “eat food”. As if he might, given the chance and inclination, eat something else. He recently began his long-sought-after life as an apprentice electrician, so he gets up early and eats a solid breakfast. And packs a lunch of four sandwiches. And when he comes home he is quite hungry. So he has snacks. And then a large plate of dinner. And before he goes to bed he has a second dinner, else he will wake in the middle of the night starving. I hope he enjoyed that slice of pie my husband made yesterday, because the puppy sure did.
The puppy is five months old, he snores when he is asleep, and he grunts a lot when he is awake. He farts incessantly and they are guaranteed to clear the area. We have no idea why this is so; he eats grain free food, and we do our best to keep him out of the catboxes. But he is a sneaky boy so it’s probably those tootsie rolls that give him the interminable farts. They squeak and floof when they come out and sometimes startle the other dog and indeed his own self. Right now they are squelchy because he ate an entire pie, and I’m taking him outside about every half hour waiting for the inevitable ass-plosion.
But that’s ok, because I am uplifted after two days of feeling like everything that could go awry in my plans did. I feel stuck trying to do something really important; I make plans to get it done, and things keep getting in the way. But today while I was installing some software I needed to do this annoying big thing, I found some software I have been looking for for over a year. And I was filled with so much joy I almost got up and danced around the house. But I didn’t, because I was afraid I would drop my laptop; it’s been that sort of two days around here. Find something really helpful and good and then something comes along and fucks it all to hell. So I just sat here with my laptop on my lap and squealed a little joy song to myself and installed it along with the tax software. This joyful software is Adobe Lightroom, and it’s not available to purchase on it’s own anymore; you have to acquire it with the purchase of Photoshop, and I don’t want Photoshop. I bought Lightroom four years ago when I bought my camera, George.
George is a Nikon D800E, a professional grade digital SLR. After our house burned down, taking all my manual SLR cameras into the ashes along with my darkroom supplies, I decided to go digital. We downsized a lot after the fire, but upgraded when we purchased the things to replace our lost treasures. George replaced three manual SLRs and Lightroom replaced an entire darkroom, from film development to picture development. I barely scratched the surface of learning how to use it when I had my breakdown two and a half years ago, told my son he could have my laptop, and walked out of our apartment intending to die. He wiped my laptop and I have been looking for the download key for Lightroom ever since I came home from hospital and began putting myself and my life back together. I never realised it was waiting for me in my Amazon downloads all this time.
I take pictures around here all the time. I mentioned in a previous entry that Colorado is full of places to adventure to for photo opportunities. And I am always keeping an eye out for new ones. Right now there is a line of trees on a farm down the street from my daughter’s school that is just perfectly red. I’ve been waiting for them to reach their peak of colour, and scoped out a safe place to pull over and snap them. I had to be especially careful about looking for a safe place because I pulled over to take some pictures of the corn fields on that road several weeks ago and got stuck! Imagine that, getting stuck on the verge in a four wheel drive truck! I was astonished, truly astonished, that happened. I had to call triple A to pull me out, and my truck now has a bit of a twisted bumper and some scoring along the side from the barbed wire fence that grabbed hold of her when she slid into the ditch. The state trooper that pulled over to check things out was not amused that I called the tow truck before him. I’m still not sure why I was supposed to call the state troopers before I called the tow truck. I offered to come help the farmer fix the fence, but he said it was no problem and I didn’t have to do that. My corn pictures were not spectacular, but I like them still. And boy, what an adventure! I used my phone instead of George, but maybe now with Lightroom I can make something better of them.
I think getting Lightroom back when I went to download TurboTax was a sort of karmic reward. I have spent so much time the past few weeks tending to doing something I needed to do that I have put off, shamefully, that has piled up into a daunting task, that seeing that sitting there in my download library was like the universe saying, “Here. You deserve this.” But I better not forget to take that puppy out, regular-like, until all of that pie is out of his system. And no more storing things on the counter until he’s trained that is a people area and not a puppy area.
He also likes my shoes. Just *my* shoes. I have never had such a PUPPY puppy. He’s lucky he is so bloody adorable, and lovable.